Dear Birth Mother

Dear Birth Mother,
I am also a Mother too and I never imagined I would be writing this letter...But it important for me to let you know how special you are to me...I am a a Christian Mother of two beautiful daughters...The eldest is grow and on her own although she visits semi frequently and I have a teen who is 15 years old in an exclusive horse back riding high school program...It's been over a year since I retired from a career as a Licensed Occupational Therapist But I still keep up my educational requirements...My hobbies include reading, hiking, gardening, yoga, dance, and kick boxing as well as home decor, real estate, enjoying movies, shopping, collecting and reselling...as well as occasionally going to the Community College to take classes such as Gourmet cooking,interior,landscape and computer design from time to time just to socialize or stimulate my mind...I graduated with a Bachelors Degree many years ago from the University of Illinois in Occupational Therapy and have a minor in psychology and equivalent to an Registered Nursing Degree but prefer to look after my Real Estate Investments and frequently like to go to our second beach home...My teenager loves it there and likes to bring her friends...We only live 45 minutes from there, but ofter like to spend the night there and walk on the beach at night or after sun rise...Although Jessica is in college and Lauren in high school I encourage them to to take extra curricular classes with me and we have at the gym but they are they are very independent and prefer we go to the beach, or out walking, talking, shopping, to dinner or a movie they often will bring a friend...In the case of my eldest she seems glued to her boyfriend or fiance or so they say (yet they still have not picked a wedding day)...Meanwhile I dream about having another little babe maybe a Boy this time to spend more time than I had when I was young as a working Mom...Now I have the freedom to stay home or go out and roam on the beach or play in our own back yard or at the park...I've helped nurse my own Mom back to health and still visit her at least weekly...I've thought about converting our guest, bonus, or extra bedroom (whe have plenty of room to prepare a place for you) into a baby nursery...but the reality is that I have not yet in over 15 years miraculously become prenant or able to have another babe...I also dream't about being a Grand parent yet my daughter who is pregnant doesn't want to keep her own babe...not even a glimpse of it here for me...She is afraid to let me adopt it so it won't be here as a reminder of how she is unwilling or not ready to raise this child...She wants to focus on her boyfriend and her career and does not want her babe near...
This is a heart break and and ache for me...Iwant to but won't ever be able to see know hold or touch him...This dream looked so real and I thought it was no longer going to be a fantasy...
At first she said to me the babe was a miracle to bring more love to bind our family closer together but now she is tearing us apart and has no heart for me or the babe but for a strange family of what she believes is a fantasy and better than me...Since she when away to college and got pregnant or knocked up and could no longer hide ot lie about the fact we've been back together...
Yet she is going through an adoption agency...who are willing to bribe her with gifts and promises that that entice her to regret and forget that she is a Mother...She will never know of how much they may want another child since their first and last one died and how will or do you know how she really will be with someone elses adopted babe? I know her heart is broken as I feel the same way inside as if my own babe and Grand Child has died...Because she is giving him up so he won't be here for me no more...She says that I should just be a MOther to her and Lauren or find another adoption agency to go through to get a babe...But why when I have one here in my own house about to pop out...Sure I need to prepare andon a promise the room will be ther and clear to see its ready for a babe and me to love At least everyone here can check on me...So this babe once again becomes a fantasy...Who knew my very own daughter who has the opportunity to give me a dream has denied me more than three times and will turn my grand child over to the authorities...I want to fight for my first grand child's life but don't want to lose my daughter who is or seems already lost...She says I don't want this babe as much as they do...What is it I have to do or say to make her believe and feel the way she thiks they do and prove to her that it is my calling ...If i plead beg and cry she says I'm faking to get my way or it is not fair if I say nothing and just listen or staire she says I do not care...All I've done to give her the good life, money,an education,cell phones, cars and rent are discredited and taken for granted...I am not respected...I guess as a mother that is expected that I sacrafice with out end and nobody notices because that's the way it's always been..They come home to eat or have a treat wanting me to take them shopping or to get their nail done then they are back on the run to have fun with her boyfriend Ross who won't say if the babe is his...so I go back to reality of finding friends who have time to go out for a day or night to do lunch or shop, or what ever talking over coffee or on the phone...and I go to church and pray or see what my support groups have to say or fix thing or start a new remodeling or landscaping project or take a class or a vacation or just go to one of the several home I own to find other activities like my exotic pets ie. bangle cats, Cockatiel bird and a Pompooch dog to fill my day...Spending tons of money along the way...Yet I pray to God everyday but the Devil wants to block me and get in the way and purpose to fufill this calling and deep drive I dream and scream as this babe thought has consumed me to feel I need to be a Mother to a part of anothers life...A life anew a life renewed...How great that day when I can again sing and play with a babe all my own but he would not be raised alone...As you see My husband and friends neighbors and extended family would all come to see and give heart too for this little one... And although my husband works full time for an excellent salary he takes time for me as need be to spend time with us his family...We have experienced life together through thick and thin and I can begin to tell you where or how we have been but given the test of time and experience we are much wiser and kinder but still can feel and see how woderful and awful life can be so we try to teach our children well and only time will tell who will end up in heaven or hell...So i fair thee well...
With Love
From Heaven Above,
Mother Bedianamight